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Should Have

Title: Should Have 

Pairing: John/Bobby, Bobby/Rouge, minor Rogue/John 

Prompt: “More Like Her” - Miranda Lambert 

Words: 954 words


John watches them sometimes, Rouge and Bobby. He’ll be sitting in one of the lounge chairs in the rec room, reading a book or writing in a notebook, eyes always straying from the page to the two of them. And they would be across the room, sitting on the couch playing thumb wars. John can easily read the book in Bobby’s eyes, the want to close the inch wide gap between them and kiss. He see Rogue pull away and can’t help the small feeling of triumph at the pain it causes them both.

She's beautiful in her simple little way
She don't have too much to say when she gets mad
She understands she don't let go of anything
Even when the pain gets really bad
Guess I should've been more like that

He often studies Rogue as used to do Bobby. The girl was quiet and shy, afraid of her powers and what they did to her and the people around her. She was pretty even if she didn’t wear the designer clothes, spend as much time on her make-up as Jubilee or Kitty, or try and flirt with the boys like the other girls did. Even though she wasn’t a normal, teenage girl she was still pretty, in her own way.

He admires her strength, her determination, her control. Rouge is strong for looking more like a damsel-in-distress. She always draws the lines with Bobby and their touches even though he knows she’s as horny as he is. She never complained about touching people when they needed her to, never said what it felt like to absorb their powers, personalities, and emotions. Looking back on it, John wished he was more like Rogue.

You had it all for a pretty little while
And some how you made me smile when I was sad
You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart
Then you realized you wanted what you had
I guess I should've been more like that

When John first came to the Mansion he was a scared, hungry, mistrustful, abused ten-year-old. And there was Bobby, two years older, smiling, and ready to help him with everything and never press him for information. He didn’t trust the adults, still only trusted them to a point, but he would have followed Bobby through Hell if only he’d asked. And so they were inseparable, two boys growing up together for four long years. Then the girls who were always mooning over Bobby began to interest him more than the boy at his side. Hormones kicked in and the world changed and suddenly Bobby didn’t want John, he wanted one of the girls who were always flirting with him.

I should have held on to my pride
I should have never let you lie
I guess you got what you deserved
I guess I should've been more like her

And so Rogue came into the picture, exactly what Bobby wanted - a female version of the hurting child John had once been. The once casual touches between them became fewer and far between, Rogue began taking all of Bobby’s attention, but John believed the lies. No, the slightly pale and sickly skin was from the Danger Room sessions, he was just out studying late with Piotr studying, he wasn’t in the mood tonight - too tired from those Danger Room sessions.

Forgiving you, she's stronger than I am
You don't look much like a man from where I'm at
It's plain to see desperation showed it's truth
You love her and she loves you with all she has
I guess I should've been more like that

And then Alkali Lake happened and John switched sides, choosing power over whatever else the Mansion could offer without Bobby. The power and fighting and terrorism excited him and he forgot about the Mansion and Bobby and everything they had done together. John was lost in the fire, excitement, rush, and fight that Magneto required of him. There was no John anymore, no scared little kid, it was just Pyro - the terrorist.

Then Alkatraz Island happened. He say Bobby and Rogue again. Rogue was holding Bobby’s hand and John could read the air between them and the expressions on their faces. Bobby was in love, and it wasn’t with John. Rogue was in love as well, and Wolverine wasn’t the one she was looking at. What was he supposed to do? He just wished he’d been more like Rogue, then called the fire to do what it needed to in order to win this fight.

I should have held on to my pride
I should have never let you lie
I guess you got what you deserved
I guess I should've been more like her

John thought back to the lies Bobby had told him, the begging he had done with his eyes and his body. He thought about how he wasn’t like Rogue and the differences is why Bobby loved her, he poured all of those emotions into his fire and made it hotter and hotter. He forced it onto Bobby, mocking him with his eyes and taunting him with words. Anything to burry the old John under Pyro. He still thought that Bobby got what he deserved, Rogue, the perfect girl, everything John wasn’t.

She's beautiful in her simple, little way

Rogue was beautiful, perfect. So who was John more jealous of - Rogue for having Bobby or Bobby for having Rogue?

A/N: Couldn’t sleep, was listening to Miranda Lambert and finishing up Story Time and then realized this song fit perfectly and so had to write it.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 9th, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)
:) Yeah, I tend to write only when I am sleep deprieved.
Apr. 4th, 2008 08:03 am (UTC)
Poor John :( beautifully done x
Apr. 9th, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)
:) Thanks. I pity John and his confused emotions as well.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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